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 ear
readers,
Lieutenant
Janner Pike, from the People's Militia, recently
spoke to me about something that I'm sure we've all experienced:
the mess in the Stormwind Bank.
There's
this beautiful red velvet rope, hanging from shiny
metal poles, drawing a neat circuit across the room, towards
the three employees of the bank. For those of you who wonder
what it could be, let me clarify it: it's for queuing!
Why
nobody uses it? Why do most people just jump over it, and
cram in front of the three boxes, yelling to be assisted?
Why do they answer with either silence, incomprensible terms
like "u r 4 n00b", or rude words that I shall not
repeat, when they are called to order?
Are
they just selfish buggers? Or worse - Could they be affected
by the epidemy of B.A.D. R.P. - Brain Activity Death (with)
Resultant Psychosis-, recently discovered by the Scarlet
Missionaries? Has it spread from the Elwynn Forest
to the very core of our city?
We've
asked the Burnside brothers, who work at the bank boxes,
about this issue, and here are their comments (by the way,
their names spoken in a row remind me of someone, but I just
can't grasp who...):
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"People
just don't understand how stressing this job can be.
Most of the day, we have nothing to do, and I get so
bored... (Olivia sighs, and shows us her nail polish
collection). But at peak hours, this is complete madness!
Nobody respects his turn, people cram in front of me,
jumping and yelling, and I do my best to attend everyone
as fast as I can, but they are merciless! I have to
deal with bad manners, some customers even threaten
me, and I sometimes wonder if the salary is high enough
as to bear with all that stress."
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"Well,
I must admit that I like this job. It pushes you to do
your best, to improve your skills everyday. In my spare
time, I have developed a new archive system that allows
me to find quickly each customer's goods, and thanks to
that I'm able to deal with up to four clients at a time!
(Newton smiles, proud of himself). Queues are for sissies!" |
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"(Glares
at his younger brother) Please, let me apologize for
my brother's comments. He's too young to realize how
important respect is, and we witness a terrible lack
of it everyday. I've asked the bank owners to hire some
security guards, to keep order inside the building,
but they're too greedy to "waste" their absurdly
high benefits into that. But, believe me, one of these
days... I'll just jump over and show those selfish bastards
to queue properly!"
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In
my humble opinion, Mr. John Burnside has put his finger
in the wound: RESPECT. People can be so selfish, trampling
on everyone else to get what they want, whenever they want
it! Let's see a few more examples:
Some
dark magicians walk the streets followed by their demons,
but most of the time, paying no attention at all to them.
Don't they realize that, if those dreadful creatures got unleashed,
they could create a terrible chaos? For the Light's sake,
there are children in the city!Why do we have to share our
space with those foul abominations from the Twisting Nether?
Mounts
pose a threat as well, since some owners seem to be as united
to them, that they bring them everywhere, even inside buildings!
Selfish riders spread through our beloved city, rushing
from here to there, forcing pedestrians to duck and cover
for their lives. Less dangerous, but maybe more annoying,
is the amount of manure that piles up in the streets,
becoming a source of diseases, and contaminating the air and
water of Stormwind. In my humble opinion, mount and
pet owners should be forced by law to carry waste bags, and
clean what their animals leave behind!
And
speaking about pets... they can also be a nuisance. Who
hasn't been gnarled at by a sharp teeth tiger, or had to bear
with the shrieks of a giant bat? One thing is a cat, or a
little rabbit... and another thing are huge bears, or poisonous
scorpids! I'll say even more: what about the diseases they
might spread? Does anyone care to vaccinate them against rabies,
to put an example? What if they bite a child? Will we wait
until it's too late to find a solution to this? Crying over
spilled milk will do no good!
Not
to mention those who run around like madmen, jumping
over under-average-sized-citizens, and turning the city streets
into some sort of Shimmering Flats circuit!
From
here, I want to ask you all for a favor. Don't just sit and
complain about bad manners, stand up and do something about
it! Whenever you find yourself abused by those selfish impolite
thugs, raise your flag and fight for your rights - with
the Word, never with the Sword! We must all unite against
disrespectful insolents, to make them understand they're not
welcome in Stormwind!
And
to the Citizens and Peoples Militias:
please, listen to my request! We need to develop and enforce
better laws, to punish those who threat the safety of the
citizens with their misbehavior.
May
the Light bring good manners to everyone's hearts,
and protect you all from impoliteness!
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS:
The
original articles and interviews written in Orcish by our
journalist Trogar Këgnash, were translated into
Common by Don Tugnas Splattersplog, also member of
our staff.
All
the pictures were taken using the latest model of the "Super
Snapper FX1500" gnomish device, kindly donated by
engineer Curgle Cranklehop.
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