e
are happy to announce that Lord Davinrad Hilon,
who disappeared almost one month ago, while working
for this newspaper as a reporter, and was feared to
be dead, has come back to the glorious city of Stormwind,
safe and in one piece!
My
deepest gratitude to Lady Quintessa Ann Lescovar,
who was the first person to saw him, for sending me
word of the happy news: may the Light always bless you
and protect you, Milady!
I
rushed to find my employee and, however, friend, to
both congratulate him for having returned safe, and
ask him a few questions about what the hell he was doing
instead of writing the article he had promised to deliver.
Lord
Davinrad told me a long and rather unbelievable
tale of kidnapping and barbaric human sacrifices, with
an expectable end involving a "godsend" party
of heroes:
Davinrad:
I
was captured by some Sandfury Trolls near Gadgetzan.
I was relaxing about a league outside of the Goblin
City...
Maud:
Relaxing? So, that's what you were doing instead
of working, huh?
D:
... and several trolls began to appear on the sunrise.
As they drew closer, I began to realize their tribe
tattoos, and as I reached for my armor upon my horse,
my loyal Swordtrot was struck in the hindlegs
by a grizzly throwing knife. He bolted, taking my equipment
with him. I drew up my fists to fight the trolls, but
they threw a gigantic net over my head, and I was unable
to reach my hunting knife before they got theirs.
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M:
Maybe the booze had something to do with your lack of
reflexes...
D:
It took them, judging by the sun, about two hours to
get me back to Zul'Farrak, and the guards must
have recognized me, as far as I can tell by my respectable
knowledge of Trollish, and decided to sacrifice
me. They were planning to do it the day after, but by
some blessing of the Light, a hefty rainstorm swept
over the Troll City.
M:
Now, let's be serious, who can believe such a thing
as a rainstorm in Tanaris?
D:
As with Desert Troll Religion, I was not allowed to
be killed until the violent storm subsided. Hehehe...
Superstitious barbarians...
M:
... Or
maybe just that they were planning to burn my journalist
to death, which would have been quite difficult in the
middle of a heavy rain, if, again, that's even possible
in the desert lands of Tanaris!
D:
For a week, I was kept in a catch atop a huge pyramid,
a brutal looking troll staring through the rain at me
every second. They brought me small grubs, and barely
a kibble of water each day,
M:
What? didn't you have enough water? it was raining,
remember?
D:
... erm... But I caught much with my mouth.
M:
Oh, alright, that's better.
D:
I worked tirelessly day after day to open the lock,
and upon the seventh day it cracked open, my makeshift
lockpick
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setting
me free. I summoned the power of the light, and summoned
the Hammer of Wrath down upon my guards head. Then,
at that time, another stroke of luck was upon me. A
group of Adventurers had burst through and were in the
surrounding compound. I managed to sneak past them,
and sprint out of the City.
M:
Without even a "thank you"... I see.
D:
My Swordtrot was waiting at the Gadgetzan
stables, and my gear was all there. I made my way back
to Stormwind as soon as I could. I am truly grateful
for all the concern about me...
M:
Yes, I'm really happy to see you back, my friend...
Do you know what this means to my reputation? To this
newspapers' reputation?!?! We published an article about
your disappearance! The People's Militia has
been looking for you! We dared to publish an anonymous
letter accusing Brother Habeus of having kidnapped
and murdered you! You're the one that should be concerned
now! One month of delay in delivering your writing!
At least, I hope you don't expect me to pay your little
holiday trip to Gadgetzan!
From
here, I want to apologize for all the commotion we have
caused, and thank the People's Militia for their
time and concern. Next time - and I hope there won't
be a "next time", I promise not to pay ears
to any anonymous letters!
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