e are happy to announce that Lord Davinrad Hilon, who disappeared almost one month ago, while working for this newspaper as a reporter, and was feared to be dead, has come back to the glorious city of Stormwind, safe and in one piece!

My deepest gratitude to Lady Quintessa Ann Lescovar, who was the first person to saw him, for sending me word of the happy news: may the Light always bless you and protect you, Milady!

I rushed to find my employee and, however, friend, to both congratulate him for having returned safe, and ask him a few questions about what the hell he was doing instead of writing the article he had promised to deliver.

Lord Davinrad told me a long and rather unbelievable tale of kidnapping and barbaric human sacrifices, with an expectable end involving a "godsend" party of heroes:

Davinrad: I was captured by some Sandfury Trolls near Gadgetzan. I was relaxing about a league outside of the Goblin City...

Maud: Relaxing? So, that's what you were doing instead of working, huh?

D: ... and several trolls began to appear on the sunrise. As they drew closer, I began to realize their tribe tattoos, and as I reached for my armor upon my horse, my loyal Swordtrot was struck in the hindlegs by a grizzly throwing knife. He bolted, taking my equipment with him. I drew up my fists to fight the trolls, but they threw a gigantic net over my head, and I was unable to reach my hunting knife before they got theirs.

 

M: Maybe the booze had something to do with your lack of reflexes...

D: It took them, judging by the sun, about two hours to get me back to Zul'Farrak, and the guards must have recognized me, as far as I can tell by my respectable knowledge of Trollish, and decided to sacrifice me. They were planning to do it the day after, but by some blessing of the Light, a hefty rainstorm swept over the Troll City.

M: Now, let's be serious, who can believe such a thing as a rainstorm in Tanaris?

D: As with Desert Troll Religion, I was not allowed to be killed until the violent storm subsided. Hehehe... Superstitious barbarians...

M: ... Or maybe just that they were planning to burn my journalist to death, which would have been quite difficult in the middle of a heavy rain, if, again, that's even possible in the desert lands of Tanaris!

D: For a week, I was kept in a catch atop a huge pyramid, a brutal looking troll staring through the rain at me every second. They brought me small grubs, and barely a kibble of water each day,

M: What? didn't you have enough water? it was raining, remember?

D: ... erm... But I caught much with my mouth.

M: Oh, alright, that's better.

D: I worked tirelessly day after day to open the lock, and upon the seventh day it cracked open, my makeshift lockpick

 

setting me free. I summoned the power of the light, and summoned the Hammer of Wrath down upon my guards head. Then, at that time, another stroke of luck was upon me. A group of Adventurers had burst through and were in the surrounding compound. I managed to sneak past them, and sprint out of the City.

M: Without even a "thank you"... I see.

D: My Swordtrot was waiting at the Gadgetzan stables, and my gear was all there. I made my way back to Stormwind as soon as I could. I am truly grateful for all the concern about me...

M: Yes, I'm really happy to see you back, my friend... Do you know what this means to my reputation? To this newspapers' reputation?!?! We published an article about your disappearance! The People's Militia has been looking for you! We dared to publish an anonymous letter accusing Brother Habeus of having kidnapped and murdered you! You're the one that should be concerned now! One month of delay in delivering your writing! At least, I hope you don't expect me to pay your little holiday trip to Gadgetzan!

From here, I want to apologize for all the commotion we have caused, and thank the People's Militia for their time and concern. Next time - and I hope there won't be a "next time", I promise not to pay ears to any anonymous letters!